reflections in the mirror

(shamelessly stolen from my Mom, who shamelessly stole it from another site)

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-ma il program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,21 4 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put “Under God” on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can’t boil a cup of water in th e microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face…disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don’t support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number
for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,
Singapore, a nd Uzbekistan

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

Thanks to you, I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my behind.

And thanks to your great advice, I can’t ever pick up $5.00 I dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

I can no long e r drive my car because I can’t buy gas from certain gas companies!

If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-moth er-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s beautician…

Have a wond erful day….

Oh, by the way…..

A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.

Don’t bother taking it off now, it’s too late.

I just couldnt resist this cute face…could you? So, Bonnie is the final permanent addition to the family. At just over 2 months, she is tiny (but growing rapidly) for her age. She is a great little kitten, and has obviously bonded with me.

She loves to help me with all sorts of projects. She helps me with the computer. And a couple days ago, she even helped with a sign that I was making. She definately loves to play…not sure the other cats like it though. Socks doesnt mind to much, neither does Tammi. Dex isnt to sure about her, but will try to give her a bath just the same.She is napping now…which means I can take pictures of her. So, Tuesday Nap Time will be back next week.

Shannon and Peanut both have new homes today. I hope that they have a good life and that their new families enjoy them as much as I did.

oh, I have been really bad about posting, or rather the lack of posting.

Since finishing the book, and seeing the movie, I have had quite a bit of things to get accomplished. Eldest has started freshman orientation at her new school. She is really excited about going to the school. It is a Math and Science based school where she will be attending during the morning and then returning to the town high school for the afternoon. She is also teaching a friends kids to swim, as a summer job. And she goes to camp for 5 days in a week or so.

Youngest has spent more time than I would like, playing video games. But he is reading and writting, and going to the pool in the afternoon, so I guess I cant complain to much. It hasnt been to nice outside. It has been either raining or really hot out, and with no one to play with…it can get a little boring.